By Grant James

 

Against Me!’s Tom Gabel Announces His TRANS[gender]FORMATION

 

On May 8, lead singer Tom Gabel of Naples and Gainesville-based punk rock band Against Me! publicly began his transformation into a transgender woman. Tom is the first major rock star to come out as transgender, and is certainly making waves. Gabel, 31, will take the name Laura Jane Grace, and soon will begin to take hormones, undergo electrolysis treatments, and begin the emotional process of becoming a woman. The front man says his final decision to undergo gender-reassignment has yet to be made.

“The Ocean”— a 2007 track from the —includes Gabel singing “If I could have chosen, I would have been born a woman/My mother once told me she would have named me Laura.” It’s apparent from these lyrics and from Tom’s own recent admissions that the married husband and father has been experiencing gender dysphoria for quite some time. Gender identity dysphoria (GID)—which is the clinical term for discontent with one’s own biological sex and/or the gender assigned at birth—is tough, and maintaining the right image while fronting a hardcore/punk rock band, couldn’t have made things any easier for Tom.

Gabel says that he and wife Heather will stay together and raise their two-year-old daughter, Evelyn, even after the transformation. In an interview with Rolling Stone, Gabel says “for me, the most terrifying thing about this was how she would accept the news, but she’s been super-amazing and understanding.”

Gabel tells Rolling Stone, “I’m going to have embarrassing moments, and that won’t be fun. But that’s part of what talking to you is about—is hoping people will understand, and hoping they’ll be fairly kind.” Let’s hope the newly-minted Laura Jane Grace opens doors for future artists to be who they want to be, and not who they think they should be.

Musings…

 

Britney Spears has signed on to become a judge on the next season of “X Factor.” Us Weekly confirms Spears has been negotiating for the past two months, and reports say that the Born-in-Miss’ippi-Raised-in-Looz-ee-ana southern belle will be bringing home the bacon in a big way, to the tune of an estimated 1-2-3—make that $16 million.

 

Party Animals? Meanwhile, in Switzerland, toxicology reports have surfaced that show two dolphins (the marine mammal kind) named Shadow and Chelmers died from overdoses of heroin. From where did these dolphins get a heroin-substitute (Buprenorphine), you ask? From the public rave that was allowed to take place near their training pool at the Connyland Marine Park water zoo, of course. I want to think their last thoughts were, “So much dubstep, so little time,” but, you know.


Justin Bieber’s “Boyfriend” The debut last month of teen- (and pedo-) idol Justin Bieber’s single “Boyfriend” brought some comparisons to the 2005 Ying Yang Twins hit “Wait (The Whisper Song).” It seems the Twins have formed a mutual-admiration society with the Bieber, releasing their own remix of “Boyfriend” last week. The lyrics kick off the song with a brotherly “Ying Yang and Justin Bieber, oh!” followed by a rap that playfully ‘tweaks’ J.B.’s youthfulness, and attempts to c**k-block the 18-year-old Canadian ‘throb (as in “heart”).

“I don’t wanna be your boyfriend, I wanna be your man/ He a little-bitty boy, I’m a grown man/I can take you overseas, a harmless breeze/Then you and me can have sex on the beach/I bet you ain’t never met someone like me/ I’m the broom, you the dust pan/Sweep you off your feet/You      can be my woman, I can be your man/If you got a little sister, Justin Bieber want to be her boyfriend,” they rap, before the remix picks back up with Jussy’s version. Twins-1, Bieber-0.